PILATES FOR PEOPLE
Recently I conduced important research through my university. After a complex mixed-methods analysis, I discovered that 84.5% of people know more about international tariffs and trades than they know about Pilates. 65.9% of people do not know how to pronounce “Pilates”, and when requested to do so, either say it very loudly, in a way not dissimilar to Sam on the Bachelorette, or very quietly, perhaps in the way James from the Bachelorette may whisper it while nodding his head slowly after constructing an IKEA cupboard and stepping back to admire his handiwork… “Mmm. Pilates”. Many people, like James, use the word out of context or with incorrect syntax. The vast majority of my research participants expressed the concern that perhaps Pilates is not actually a thing and does not exist, or is some secret thing for weirdos, but not in a good way like Fight Club. 3% stated they experienced emotional distress from seeing images of Joe Pilates swinging his legs around while wearing nothing but his oversized white underpants and a generous quiff.
So, what is Pilates? Well, it doesn’t really matter. You just fling your legs and arms around and whatnot and things.
What DOES matter is that to try to raise $3000.00 for CARE Australia, I’ve decided to put my Hundreds where my mouth is and organise a fundraiser. The City of Melbourne have come to the Pilates Party and are supporting the event, as is great local business Connect Osteo. It’s on November 26th, at the Kensington Town Hall. Pepper Café will be supplying coffee. Bike n’ Blend will be there – you ride a stationary bike to power up a blender and make a smoothie! And – in cool news – slick active-wear brand Lululemon have donated 35 mats to me for the occasion – which you then get to keep! There will also be cake! And prizes!
I will be running 10 x 30 minute Pilates classes back-to-back, with some Yoga sessions thrown in by the lovely Claudia. My “Pilates Technicians” will be wandering around the room helping you with your technique and your quiff. Your job is to form a team of friends and keep a body on that mat for the full five hours. Preferably that body is moving but napping is also permitted if done quietly, and if that body is really not moving I recently did my CPR Refresher; everything will be fine. You don’t need to know anything about Pilates or be able to pronounce it. It’s a Pilates-a-thon for regular people and I encourage you to wear your best Kmart tights over your oversized white underpants and bring the kids, who can also have a go with you on your mat. If you can’t form a team or don’t want to do the whole thing, you can just arrive on the day and bust out a few classes with us! Or if you can't make it... would you like to bake me a delicious treat for the bake sale?
I’m pretty new to Kenso, moving to Melbourne last December, and I’m slowly building up my network. I hope that maybe you can come and join on the day and support me, or just pop your head in, and help me reach my fundraising target. Send me an email if you’re keen!
PS: It's pronounced puh-lah-tease.
PPPS: All the info about the event here: http://www.melanieirons.com/fundraiser.html